"The Special One!"
No, I don't mean the arrogant one; it's not only football managers who can be "special"; this is that special house you've been looking for. You can get your pencil ready as you'll have boxes to tick!
Come on, who doesn't want a house with a secret garden and lovely stone walls? A charming house with attractive vaulted beamed ceilings and eye catching original floor tiles.
If you don't want those things, why are looking at this? "Be off with you, you scallywag!" This is for the discerning purchaser only; can you live up to that?
I don't know who writes this (he lied), but the salient points would be a charming three bedroom, one bathroom village home in a great location with the potential to be really quite stunning. A little effort directed in the right place and "Bob's your uncle" (were those the salient points covered?)